My Apologies: Dane Cook, comedian for College Republicans

I apologize deeply to all of my regular reader on A&S for my last post. It was unwarranted. There's no need to so scroll down, I'll just tell you instead of showing you. I posted a Dane Cook video. Dane Cook basically represents all that is reprehensible in this world; but he's only a representation. Nonetheless, I shouldn't have posted that video. It's like giving pornography to a preteen--it's a meeting of two things that will happen anyway, but one shouldn't consciously enable it--it's just bad form. I'm on my knees; I'm one-hundred percent apologetic and one-hundred percent sorry. No sarcasm or meta-sarcasm here. I'm sorry. Well, maybe a little sarcasm, I should say. Sub-hiro aka Kat-man wrote me:

Anyways, good luck.....don't forget to
write and keep on blogging, but spare us the Dane
cook, what a horrible routine. I was going to post a
Richard Pryor clip. THe problem with COok I saw from
that one clip is that he can't tell a fucking story.
Pryor was the master story teller...ANd then there is
Groucho...who tops them all......There is a guy on the
Dr. Phil show is has over 200,000 dollars worth of
Star Wars gear (over 6000 pieces) is girl friend had
no idea about his collection until after he proposed
to her!! "I don't think it's obsessive.." WHen Dr. Phil
asks him how many Storm troppers he has the guy says
"Which size? the 3 and 3/4 ones or larger. Packed or
unpacked?" Over 300 is the answer but as the show
progresses the guy says he only wants to lose weight
so he can fit into his own Storm Trooper Suit.....

I added his digression because digression is a form of mutation and mutation is the only form of evolutionary development that is tried and tested and true. Also, my reader usually likes Star Wars stuff. I'll see if I can track down clips from that show. But back to the main point. I was taking a shower earlier thinking about what I'd put on this post; I have a firm commitment not to redact anything I say, but I can contradict myself. As a "Creative" blogger, which is what I consider myself, I feel this is Kosher. But it was not right for me to subject anybody to that youtube clip. Back in the shower, I was thinking of apt analogies for Dane Cook; whether or not he was the Mitt Romney of Comedy, or the Jonah Goldberg of Comedy, or the Live of Comedy (which doesn't ring very well, so maybe it's most apt), or the Thinking Person's piece of midsummer's dead dogmeat sweltering and putrifying the environs. I think the Live of comedy is apt. He's not quite the Dave Mathews band of comedy. For all his faults, Dave Mathews does seem to be self-aware. Maybe he's the Maroon 5 of comedy--I remember they were popular last year. I do like the idea that he's the Jonah Goldberg of comedy, even though Jonah is at least ten years older. Well, let me tell you what I know about Live. They are an old band, because they're in my well-worn copy of Spin's Guide to Alternative Music--so maybe Jonah Goldberg is the Live of whatever it is that Jonah Goldberg does. Anyhow, when I was using Limewire a couple of years ago I was looking for Johnny Cash songs and I found a live Live cover of "Hurt," I listened to it and it really was one of the most heinous things I've encountered. Their arrangement was dreadful from top to bottom; and then, at the end they said, not like an Elvisian dismissive but grateful "Thanyu'vree-mch" they said, "Johnny Cash." And another musician said "That was Johnny Cash. Everyone, Johnny Cash." No you fucking tools. Nine Inch Nails. I like Johnny Cash very much, but give credit where credit's due--especially when your audience is composed of molluscs. So though it's a dated reference, I guess "Live" would be most analogous in my personal cosmology to Dane Cook. Why do I go on about this? I guess the same way the liberal blogosphere goes on about Jonah Goldberg. We have to fight this machine at every level. And just as when Jonah Goldberg equates the normative vast ideology of "Liberalism" to "Fascism," it is analogous to equating the sonic creations of the post-grunge band "Live" as "Rock," as it would be to associate the mewling histrionics of a self-infatuated frathouse blowhard like Dane Cook to the legacy of the great American comedic tradition, be it Richard Pryor, Bill Hicks, or, God Help Us, the holy Groucho. The big boys are tackling Jonah properly, hilariously so: I point you to Sadly, No! and The Poorman for that--not to mention the indefatigably obsessive Orcinus (bless his soul.) In the meantime, I will continue to atone for my sins. I will post in the not so distant future some youtube videos that nurture, not enervate.

My love for life, or, what fascism means to me

Richard the Lion-Hearted, Napoleon.
I don't know if you'll like living in our time.
Then I'll have to remold it to my liking.
-- Khan Noonian Singh

This is a good one.

Comedy subject to prior approval: Dane Cook, Fascist?

I think at one point the cultural critics of the 80's said that comedy was the new Rock N Roll. This was the time of John Belushi et al. Of course I guess most every medium has been called the New Rock N Roll. But Dane Cook has pretty much killed one medium. He's basically a secular Ted "It's like a Rock N Roll Concert" Haggard.

I went to the bookstore last night and asked for the new Jonah Goldberg. I missed the Dane Cook show, even though I saw the commercial for his show while watching Futurama a thousand times. I just got a collection call from CON-EDISON (???) I told them I had no money, which is pretty much true.

I guess there are reasons why we should be careful about how we use the word fascism. Why couldn't I get a look at the copy of the new Jonah Goldberg book at Barnes & Noble? I ask you, who are the real fascists?

But seriously, Liberalism is fascism, at least in my old way of thinking. A few years ago I used to call almost everything fascism. Liberalism in the continental sense is a form of fascism; that is, letting free reign for the oligarchs and plutocrats is liberalism and ends up in consolidated power regimes that institute essentially fascist or pseudo-fascist regimes. The democracies under plutocratic control are not platonic democracies, but oligarchical spectral-democracies. But only invisible bullets can kill my invisible soul. So, fuck you.

Images from my All-American Weekend...

Saturday night, I attended a wedding reception at a VFW post in Thornton, Colorado. I swore I was in the first half of The Deer Hunter.

The next day I attended the Stock Show with my Father and step-mother-in-law.

AGH- The future is now...

Here is a prime example of what you get when you take AGH (Alien growth hormone)...

Real Anger Comes From Genius not Gammers!

An occasion for the ages...Ah, who could forget such a lovable occasion!!!

Turns out he was acting...he's not really crazy.

Well, that being the case: Bravo, young Kinski. Bravo.

Videos I watch with my nephew

I've been meaning to post a lot of videos; but I suppose we should keep it in digestible doses. Here are some videos that I show my nephew when he comes over.

First is my favorite, the famous Pinball Count; you've probably seen it, but it is just so freaking funky I can never get over it. I don't know who the musicians are, but dig the effortless dovetailing of jazz and funk and my god! that steel drum solo!

I don't know the origin of this particular incarnation--it appears to be a mix of all of the 12 original Pinball Number Counts.

Next I present to you mine and Laogzed's favorite Sesame Street Character, Oscar the Grouch. He's with Johnny Cash here, and I love Oscar's commentary.


Here's the aliens encountering Earth Life in the form of a Telephone.


Here's one that jogged something deep within me:


Here's another great song. A funky garage band style with a fantastically charismatic singer/keyboardist. (Might be the reason I turned to piano when I was a kid.)


And the last, Sesame Post-punk/new wave done very well:

Diligently Anti-diligent?

Here's a compelling argument against work. Here's a quote that connects with the last post:

Usually—and this is even more true in "communist" than capitalist countries, where the state is almost the only employer and everyone is an employee—work is employment, i.e., wage-labor, which means selling yourself on the installment plan. Thus 95% of Americans who work, work for somebody (or something) else. In the USSR or Cuba or Yugoslavia or Nicaragua or any other alternative model which might be adduced, the corresponding figure approaches 100%. Only the embattled Third World peasant bastions—Mexico, India, Brazil, Turkey—temporarily shelter significant concentrations of agriculturists who perpetuate the traditional arrangement of most laborers in the last several millennia, the payment of taxes (ransom) to the state or rent to parasitic landlords in return for being otherwise left alone. Even this raw deal is beginning to look good. All industrial (and office) workers are employees and under the sort of surveillance which ensures servility.

Diligence: No Privacy Protection in the Workplace

Cursor has a great link to an article about Commercial Espionage:

These ex-spies apply a higher level of expertise, honed by government service, to the cruder tactics already practiced by private investigators. One such ploy is pretexting—obtaining information by pretending to be somebody else. While private detectives have long posed as freelance reporters or job recruiters to get people to talk, former agents have elevated pretexting to an art.

At Diligence, a New York private-investigation firm founded by former C.I.A. and British agents, ex-intelligence officers have taught newcomers how to construct false identities by using fake business cards, creating phony websites, and directing incoming calls to cell phones reserved for each separate identity. "You are establishing a cover, like in the C.I.A.," said a former Diligence employee, adding that there are people who know investigators only by their phony identities.

Diligence.

A good Musical is Hard to find...

A Lucky day for me. At a used record store I was able to find a copy of Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge- (If I knew how to put the you tube video up I would....); one of the great Hindi soundtracks of all time...It was the Saturday Night Fever of the 90's. And there is was waiting for me for a mere $2.50.....IS there a better Bollywood soundtrack out there....Lagaan? Raja Hindustani, Dil to Pagil Hai? Isq.....Mother India...the soundtrack to Gandhi? But this is a gem......Next to it was the Soundtrack to Bride and Prejudice its Bhangralicious....If Herzog has faults in his movies it's his inability to produce a good musical. What would have been wrong with Kinski lip singing some love song recorded by one of the Gibb brothers, Rafi, a member of the Temptations or Phillip Baliey from Earth, Wind, and Fire. Kinski would have loved dancing in film - much like Chirstopher Walken in the Fat Boy Slim song.. (Walken was a dancer, though....) Kinski would have loved playing an alter ego courting a would be lover in the depths of the Amazon, as a Vampire discovering that love is more important than blood, or as a lunatic singing just for the heck of it....

I think I found your sarcasm...it's in the prefrontal lobe of the brain, of course...

In honor of MLK Jr. here is a good article to read....I hope all A&S readers can do some kind of social goodness today.....

Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!

Gaza.

Right to Hate/LOL Cat contest

I'm filled with loathing myself, so this topic interests me.

And as complement, I offer this picture for an A&S caption contest. Winner will be featured on my multiple web offerings. Email your hilarious, hideous, hysterical LOLcat to solardriftwood at gmail dot com.

Sarcasm? Oh it's soooo awful!

The Electable LaRouche

Okay. What the hell is up with Michigan? I just heard that in 2004 LaRouche was the only Democrat in the running, and that some 80 percent of Democrats voted for McCain.

I don't understand anything, ever. Except poetry, of which I am expert.

Tomkin. Tonkin? I don't understand.

Must we forget why we create art..

I've never heard of this..His first Documentary

First Movie....I've never heard of this one.....

Hanging with the crew..."Ah, those were the days..."

Ibo Means Peace

Lithograph from 1725. "Alien Autopsy performed by Giuseppe Verchillo, Siena."

Yes, it's true. All evidence of my existence is quickly vanishing from the world wide web. One must ask why me? Well it's quite simple - I have come across some very interesting evidence from the Alien Black Market of Alien autopsies performed in the 1700s. And as punishment as what I have been researching a team from the Department of #$#&$& have been erasing all evidence of my past along with the published articles in various underground magazines that have been circulating for the past few years. There is a shakedown going on with the Alien Underground and outsiders like myself are the only people that can be targeted as the ABM/AUM (Alien Underground Movement) remains hidden from government officials.

The past six months I have spent exploring the IBO. It's a modified African percussion instrument designed, I think , by a local Boston percussion teacher. This little percussive gem works great with some basic Tabla techniques. I have heard that it attracts the sounds of the Rad Unicorns of the Earth and it's rhythms seem to sooth the anger of human eating creatures that live in the hollows of the Earth. I have no other musicians to play with. But I have jammed with members of AUM who have some curious looking instruments, made of indestructible metals, that they refuse to have recorded.

My Ibo!!! (Has performed in the EL Yunqe rain forest in Puerto Rico and the train stations of greater Boston)

Musically, I have been drowning myself with the music of Charles Lloyd. I recommend all to listen to his music. He has a new recording with Zakir Hussain, and played at the Oslo Nobel Peace Prize ceremony. He took some time away from the Jazz world in the 70s to practice meditation and then came out with some beautiful recordings for ECM. Some might think that ECM recordings consist of Jazz light recordings with an intellectual levity that muzak lacks -But that's only because they let their musicians record what they want to record.

The Mister Mister compilation CD has a song I recorded with a band about eight years ago. All members of that band have mysteriously disappeared.

Iran, Iran, Iran..... We almost had Tomkin resolution part two last week. It's time to be scared, I think... Though the article is old, it's pretty up to date....why don't the folks on TV respond to real reporting....

Alien and conspiracy tunnels in Colorado....as found on the web....

"Blanka Peak , Colorado
Functions: Unknown Levels: Unknown Tunnels to: Unknown Notes: Mt. Blanca [Massif] is located in the mysterious San Luis Valley of Colorado, which has been a "hot spot" for UFO sightings and animal mutilations. Also Southwestern tribes have legends involving caverns below the Mt. Blanca, San Luis Lakes, and Great Sand Dunes National Monument region, through which their ancestors migrated during a time of surface natural disasters before emerging onto the surface once again. There have been some rumors of an attempted government attack upon an underground alien [Grey] base beneath Mt. Blanca, using a deadly nerve agent, which backfired or failed. Blanca peak is located between Alamosa and Walsenberg.

Denver International Airport
Functions: Military research, construction, detainment camp facilitiesLevels: 7Tunnels to: Denver, Colorado, Colorado Springs, Colorado (Cheyenne Mtn.), Riverton, WyomingNotes: Recently constructed in 1995, the government and politicians were hell bent on building this airport in spite of it ending up vastly overbudget. Charges of corruption, constant construction company changes, and mass firings of teams once they had built a section of their work was reported so that no "one" group had any idea what the blueprint of the airport was. Not only did locals not want this airport built nor was it needed, but everything was done to make sure it was, period. Masonic symbols and bizarre artwork of dead babies, burning cities and women in coffins comprise an extensive mural as well as a time capsule - none of which is featured in the airport's web site section detailing the unique artwork throughout the building. DIA is reported to serve as a cover for the vast underground facilities that were built there. There are reports of electronic/magnetic vibrations which make some people sick and cause headaches in others. There are acres of fenced-in areas which have barbed wire pointing into the area as if to keep things in, and small concrete stacks that resemble mini-cooling towers rise out of the acres of nowhere to apparently vent underground levels.
Beneath the Denver International Airport east of Denver - which is filled with Masonic murals and symbolism and rumors of involvement of German secret societies - there exist several restricted underground levels, at least 10 sublevels, a 4.5 square mile underground city and an 88.5 square mile underground base, according to the late Phil Schneider who helped in the construction of certain portions of this and several others of the 131 underground New World Order military bases which are on the average 1 mile deep and connected by magneto-leviton or mag-lev monorail trains capable of mach-2 speeds. "

Sarcasmus Finds His Voice

By linking to Atrios posts.

Obscurantics; Politics; Michael's Status Updates: Symbology of Snails, Idiophones; A Glimpse of our Nightmare Future

The N-ero-nomicon hands over some potent info that is pretty, his terms, "brain-melting."

There's some links in there to some Bruce Sterling, who always has an interesting point of view (when I can understand it.)

I love Glenn Greenwald. He does the dirty job; he relentlessly, meticulously dissects absolute stupidity. And unlike others, like Atrios and Sadly, No!; it's almost one hundred percent earnest. He makes a "snarky" comment here and there. (I hate that word, snark, btw.) But really he methodically compiles and dissects like no other blogger. Atrios is an unstoppable, indispensable font of inside-jokes, bite-size snarks; and Sadly, No! is a lunatic snarkative of epic proportions. I love it all, (Except the word snark.) But Greenwald anally probes the dark recesses of our elite discourse and the societal and global consequences in an almost obsessive fashion where one such as myself asks "Why? We pretty much knew this." GG does it because WE DESPERATELY NEED this critical examination of our political-social system. If not for the record, if not for posterity, for the same reason Joyce had to write Finnegan's Wake. Because somebody had to do this thing, how ludicrous it is, it is necessary for the human species. It comes down to tiny details, from the pompous inferences of Maureen Dowd, the blatant recklessness of such "serious and respectable" politicians such as John McCain, and his sensitive attentiveness to other bloggers in the community--some not extremely well known. He has gone into considerable analysis of the coverage regarding Hillary Clinton. The fucked-up attention to her tears, and the disregarding of croco-tears from Rightwingers. He's gone into depth about rightwing, dipshitted barbs about masculinity. I don't know who GG he supports. It doesn't matter. With his analysis, and other articles like this one from Gloria Steinem seem to indicate that the accrued skeletons in American closets out number Americans. We shouldn't discount the murmurings from the right about Obama either. There's a lot of discussion in the left blogosphere about that too. And it is scary to think about what's going to come out in our culture out of the elite-punditry, the conglomerates--not to mention actual blatant racists and sexists--who don't want to see Obama or Hillary in the Whitehouse. Again, these are all issues being picked up by the big name bloggers. No matter how in the pocket Obama and Clinton seem to be in big money, their "identities" will always be front in center in a lot of people's mind. In many ways this is good, because everything will get out in the open; and the Republican party's monkey-brained efforts may expose their bigotry possibly more than anything else in this country could.

Anyhow, some more links.

Here's a good wikipedia link of percussion instruments. I was looking for crotales. I love crotales. Also the celeste. There's a celeste played by Bruno S. in Strosyek, and last weekend I watched it with some buddies and I couldn't think of the name of the instrument. Tonight I had the same experience with crotales. I would like to write music for percussion ensembles again. I've been getting into Lou Harrison.

I love the names of the categories: Idiophones, Membranophones, Chordophone, Aerophone, Electrophone.


How's Kat-man doing? I'll google his name. Is this your Massachusetts band? Your JET profile disappeared.

Slugman is still in NY, I hear. Temping for those fascists at Prep for Prep. Give us a shout out.

Man, facebook is addictive. I'm always doing the status updates, and I try to make them clever. Some of my friends, especially some former co-workers at the greasy hagwon I used to work for do extremely clever ones. This is Michael's latest:

Michael Sperry is lined up in a row and moved through narrow runways leading to a chute with spring loaded doors.

Michael: This is Poetry. And I'm a POETRY EXPERT. (I decided that last night--I'll go more into this in the future.) I'd love to visit that fucker if he didn't live in Texas. Scratch that cause it might be warm there now. I'm thinking Greyhound, but I want to go back to New York City REAL BAD. My current status update is "Daniel is whirring his siren." I liked it because it has key notes of anxiety and absurdism; in addition, it is concise, has a strong verb and can be taken as metaphor or as a euphemism. I spent many hours last night while I couldn't sleep thinking up this status update. And I was aghast to see that, in the mean time, Michael had come up with one that was much more clever. If I channeled this energy I expend into some other form think of what I could do. (Much less Michael Sperry.) Thankfully, as I grew tired, my mind wandered away from the facebook status update into ideas for stories and poems and etc. But those ideas kind of faded away as I came upstairs this morning to check email and update my facebook status. S


Sometimes I look at my past blog entries and I wonder to myself, "Why did I write all this?" It doesn't make sense. It's just a bunch of blabber. It's nice to have on record, I guess. I'm not seriously working on any projects except a few very noisy dronal recordings (available here--sorta, actually what I've uploaded so far are things I did years ago. But I've been making new ones.) Meanwhile I have two novels and one serious internet project that needs working on, which I will probably go more into detail in the future. NO, goddamnit, I will go into depth in the future.

thod, for Channukah gave me a very interesting book, the Dictionary of Symbols. Each entry gives symbology and there derivations from various cultures. Esoterical, obscurantical, erudite, eccentric. Bringing a former subject to the front burner, here's insight into the symbology of snails:

snail Universally regarded as lunar symbols, snails are signs of the regular cycle of rebirth; as the Moon waxes and wanes, so snails expose and retract their horns; they are signs of death and rebirth, motifs of the eternal homecoming.
The snail, with its spiral shell, linked to the phases of the Moon, and the tumescence of its horns, also stands for fertility. 'Thus the snail becomes the scene of a lunar theophany, as in the ancient religion of Mexico in which the moon god, Tecciztecatl, is shown enclosed in a snail's shell' [Reference]
Like all molluscs, the snail displays sexual symbolism in the analogy between its substance, motion and excretions with those of the vulva.
It also symbolizes the enduring within the changeable. 'The helical shape of the land- or sea-snail's shell provides an universal glyph of the eternity being within the fluctuations of change' [Reference]
For the Aztecs, snails were symbols of conception, pregnancy and birth. In Benin they are regarded as reservoirs of semen. [Reference]
In Egyptian hieroglyphics, the snail stood for the SPIRAL. Like that geometric shape, present throughout the natural world, it might well have symbolized the evolution of life.
In North Africa, snail's shells are made into necklaces.

Snails have shells of the pattern of ram's horns....In addition they partake of moisture and only come out, as the peasants say, after the rain. They are linked to the agricultural cycle and have become the symbol of the fertility bestowed by the dead, a necklace of their shells being the almost essential adornment of the ancestor who returns to mortal earth to make it fertile, bearing with him all the symbols of the face of Heaven and of the beneficent rain-storms. [Reference]

How can I follow that?

Well, I'll try. I always liked the Remote Controlled Robot fightshow on Comedy Central because I thought it was an uncanny vision of our future. Well, in between fights, how about Robot Air-Hockey?

And some awefulness for you: Mainly the music. This is why we need my website I'm developing. Or trying to, I'll go into that later.

If I don't get my way, the whole world may be so terribly awful, that youtube provides only a scant, glimpse of our awful future. (You could read this post over and over because the first "point" connects with the last "point." It's a moebius blog-band.)

Virtual Rock Bands: Good or Evil?

Apparently there are all sorts of Virtual Rock Bands springing into existence. Mainly through the various Xbox and Playstation games. And these virtual rockbands getting all sorts of hacks and add-ons and what not. Then I wonder about what this means to music. First off, I would say that music has always been an important part of playing video games. A good video game score sets the tone and enhances play--no doubt. There is some video game music which I find deeply moving and beautiful, particularly from the old Squaresoft games. And I have rediscovered the beauty of the 8bit sounds through tweakbench--as I've discussed before.

I tried playing one of these Guitar Hero games in Korea, and it just sort of confused me. It is much about reflexes (of which mine are TERRIBLE) as the music. Of course, one could say that about a classical musician in a normative orchestra of today. The musician is a sort of gamer following the notes, using reflexes refined by intensive practice (sight reading) or are just naturally very able at hitting the notes and shaping each one according to their training or intuition. I studied both classical and jazz piano and I appreciate the depth of skill and dedication needed to operate at the professional or even semi-professional level.

Personally, I look for video games that are a little bit different, allow for some exploration, lots of chance encounters--virtual worlds. Grand Theft Auto is the greatest video game I have ever played. It has missions, but you are free to do anything you want, within a certain number of parameters. Since returning from Korea, I have almost exclusively played a video game called Tokyo Xtreme Racer 2, on my dreamcast. It's not a great racer, but the best one available for Dreamcast. The options are limited, but you have many choices of vehicles, and you can greatly modify their options. The races are exciting, but much of the time you are driving the streets of Tokyo looking for big shot racers to test your mettle with. There is a certain atmospheric appeal to me. And, it should be noted, that I usually turn the music off, leave the sound effects on and listen to internet radio or something else. (That's when I started really getting into WFMU.

The idea of music and gaming merging is not immediately discouraging to me. There was that South Park episode where Stan's dad was aghast with his son's fixation with the Guitar Hero game--and he pointed out that in his day people actually took the time to learn how to play guitars and be there own heroes--not to mention electric jugs! Music, it's context in our lives, and the means of its creation are always changing. Just like language itself. There is lots of creative potential in this field, as evident by the 8bit festivals and the possibilities of live synthesis from programs such as Ableton Live. I'm not discouraged. And when we make music, we are playing. Play is a funny word, as one can "play" a sport or guitar or Super Mario Brothers extremely seriously. Some of the more cerebral, or at least static-seeming genres out there, such as pure revivalist garage-punk, or mainstream classical or Academic Jazz could use some infusions of this serious play. (And I'm sure there is a world of teeming examples and counter-examples out there.)

I watched a documentary a couple nights ago, Speaking in String, about the violinist Nadja Salerno-Sonnenberg which was both enlightening and harrowing; much of what she said I could perfectly relate to. And I'm sure others who have had some conservatory experience can relate to. Mainly, that the American classical world is exceedingly conservative, and certain things are expected. This woman is a live-wire. She lives her music and is not a "lady-like", reserved performer. To reach the level of intensity that she needs to perform, she abandons all reserve and flails and, quite simply, rocks. The performance footage didn't really give me the sense of the quality of her playing. People seem to either love her or hate her. I think because she is such a virtuoso and a spectacle and a legendary figure, she can survive. But not without consequence. The woman gets into great depressions. One time, alone and utterly depressed, she took a gun loaned to her and pointed it to her skull and squeezed the trigger, but was unable, thank the gods, to pull it, simply because the gun was so new that it's interlocking parts were too freshly made and therefore not "broken in," it was too stiff, and the she was unable to squeeze the trigger in consequence! My God! Obviously, there are manic-depressive people everywhere with internal conflict and irresolvable pain; and Salerno-Sonnenberg deals with this quite explicitly in her performances. Is this what music's for? Is there some Finnish dude in rural obscurity thrashing out comparable demons from his soul by mere air-guitar play?

I don't know. But proficiency, and the idea of music are indefinable. At least for me. When I set up sounds on my various virtual synths in my mom's basement and I start setting up sequences that are pleasing to me, am I a performer? Am I a composer? Am a game player? I imagine it's a combination of the three.

Pretty soon we'll be able to jam with people all over the world. I mean, it's already happening. But it'd be cool to have a jam session with strangers over the internet. Get some tabla master in North India, a bouzouki freak in Greece, some free-dub basement recluse in South Wales--a mixmaster in a basement in Aurora (or in central Seoul.)

For Toddlers Only!

This, well, I'm just not sure...

A name for us

I mean, those like me. StranJew.

MELTMASTER PRESENTS: RAW FROM SELECTION--A PODCAST

Yes, you heard right. Meltmaster, Sarcasmus's Inscrutable, Meltable Musical Alterable-Ego has started a podcast! Can you believe it, a podcast from the makers of ANGRY AND SLOPPY!!!!!!


Sigh.


I know. We already offer a podcast, Laogzed's. But this one is different. You don't have to listen carefully to it if you don't want. You can just turn it down low. Or turn it all the way down and it won't make a difference.

The first episode is an organic collage of THE LANDLADY FROM HELL!! The podcast features a kaleidoscopic analysis of Property and Human Relations in the POST_POST Modern age! You shouldn't really have to miss it. Just click on this:



It's easy to subscribe to this one. When you click on the player you'll see an itunes Icon and that'll set it up to automatically download. You figure it out if you want that badly.

I mean, email me at solardriftwood at gmail dot com if you want help!!!!!!

Also, I've whored it off to the Internet Archive. Melt babies, melt!!!!

Korean E-2 Visa: It used to be so easy; Post-Boho Reflections; Still afraid of Bosintang

Check out this form, I'm not sure if it's from my potential employer, or from the consulate:

New E2 Visa Reforms
The reason for changing the visa laws for E-2 visas
The number of ESL teachers who break the social laws in Korea are getting more severe.
- 2007.9.5 KBS 2TV program exhibited an expose on native (English) teachers; drugs, fake degrees.
- Due to the recent pedophile search by Interpol and that teacher having taught English in Korea, there is much concern about native English teachers.
- The issuance of E2 visas with regard to the qualifications of teachers and their social conduct in Korea has become an issue.
- A system of protection must be implemented so that sexual criminals, unqualified teachers, and drug addicts do not come into contact with students.
?? Changes to the System
- When applying for an E2 visa, a criminal background check and medical health report must be submitted.
- After arrival in Korea, applicants must get a medical health report from an approved government hospital, public health clinic, or general hospital.
- After an applicant has filed for an E2 visa at an embassy/ consulate, the applicant must have a personal interview.
- Applicants who have been issued an E2 visa in the past or have been verified to have certified documentation will be issued an E2 visa faster.

Changes to the Application Process
1. Criminal Background Check
To prevent applicants with convictions for drug offences or sexual offences from entering the country, a criminal background check must be submitted.
Issuers of Criminal Background Check and Expiration Date
- Only local, provincial/ state, or federal government law enforcement agency issued checks will be accepted.
- The criminal background check must have an apostille*.
The countries that do not have an apostille agreement with Korea, (like Canada and China), will have to submit the criminal background check for verification at the applicants closest consulate/ embassy.
Applicants in Korea must receive the criminal background check from the applicants' embassy in Korea. The notarization or seal becomes unnecessary.
- The criminal background check is only valid within 90 days/ 3 months of the E2 visa application.
- Standards for the screening for E2 visa
- Any applicant who has any kind of criminal record will not be issued an E2 visa.

What is an Apostille?
An Apostille or postil is a seal applied by the Department of State to authenticate a document in a foreign country in order to assess the authenticity of an official signature. The Apostille is recognized as form of an international notary seal. An Apostille can be used if both countries (the country issuing the document and the country in which the document will be used) are part of the international "The Hague Apostille Convention".
2. Medical Health Report
A medical health report is necessary for an E2 visa to protect Korean citizens from applicants who test positive for narcotic drugs, communicable diseases, HIV/AIDS physical and/or mental ilnesses.
After entering Korea, applicants must submit themselves to a medical check at an approved govt. hospital public health clinic or general hospital.

The media in Korea has been sensationalizing the foreign influence of English teachers in Korea. Make no mistakes, there are a lot of weirdo foreigners who go there (like me.) But maybe it makes good sense. It should be interesting getting a criminal background check. I have no drug or sex offense convictions so it should be no problem.

One thing about working in the US is that a lot of people I think are getting worried about the information that your potential employers can find out about you through myspace and facebook and blogs. Now I'm getting paranoid. When I was living my neo-bohemian lifestyle I really didn't give a shit about people spying on me. As a fiction writer I spout a lot of bullshit, say offensive things, and generally have an unprofessional attitude towards the goings on about the world. I feel that that is my right as a writer. I may never be published, but first and foremost I consider myself an outside observer; and I consider it my human right to play with my observations in public and private. This does not accord with the homogenized, astro-turf culture of corporations and what-have-you; and this is exactly why I adopt this attitude. I have made concessions. I try not to call people fascists anymore. It has been, if not always a word to diffuse; it is mere name calling. I don't what, but I'm sure its use by both liberals and conservatives falls within the taxonomy of Logical Fallacies, namely, Spock's Brain.

It was fun, though. Maybe that's it. The enigma is somewhere in the idea of calling someone a fascist, just as it is fun to call yourself a bohemian. Both were phenomenons, as far as I can tell the were most evident before and after WWII. Jason and Wendi, who live in Pittsburgh now, were my Bohemian Crew. We watched Aki Kaurismaki's La Vie de Boheme innumerable times. Read, wrote, drank, explored NYC, held parties and wakes. But it was an unsustainable lifestyle. But I still love the ideology, and I hope to capture it again, if in a different, global and digital form. I will go more into my ideas when I have laid some groundwork. I just know so many creative people, and this society does not seem to have an appreciation for creativity, unless it's creativity that leads to profit. But it seems that the netroot activities of like-minded people on dailykos and mydd can be applied to artistic types. Even though myspace is owned by News Corps, it's great because so many people can share their creative ideas--namely music. I will go more into this later. I am no longer interested in what is "fascist." Though I still use the term. It's just a fun epithet. But I learned a much better F-word from my fellow neo-Bohemian Jason. Fucker.

Oh yes, my other Neo-Boho friends CyphergodnessHellion and Erorocka Bomb-ya have transferred some of their work from their Velvet Underground inspired band Nylon-Coated Cats onto their Rad Unicorn website. I haven't listened to it yet, but I'm going to download, listen to it and judge it to within a micron of my life.

I will use a video of my stair-antics to bumpily slop back to the main voom-voom of this post:


I like the idea of living my professional life in Korea, and my artistic life in the US. But the paradox is that I'm importing culture there so as the Koreans can better understand and assimilate into Western culture. I'm not a total anti-globalist (obviously, otherwise, why would I take these jobs), but on the other hand, my Korean employers could take things the wrong way. Or, worse, the right way.

It's complex, and I'll see how all this plays out.

But it's going to take a couple of months to process my Visa this time around--last time it was processed extremely quickly. Maybe it's due to some reactionary elements in the Korean government--If I'm not mistaken, the new PM is a rightist. And I talked to many students who longed for the pre-democratic days of General Lee (I believe that's who he was.) Interesting. Anyhow, looking forward to seeing my friends and eating the best bulgogi in town, and by town, I mean the world. Who knows, I might try some bosintang this summer.

ps, trawling my old blog posts, I found this one. Indeed, the very idea chills me to the bone.


pps, a scrimp pop of optimism.

ppps, oh long and loyal readers, LEST WE FORGET!

I found a portal to Spock's Brain on the internet

Enter it HERE!!!
Now if only we could enter Spock's Beard.

MSNBC

Masters of the parallelogram.

I, Laogzed, God of the Troglodytes, present:

My latest podcast.

Click here to get your own player.


For the transcript, please click here.

Okay, now I understand the whole "Rave" thing

That music is obviously moving him in extremely deep ways.

We are ONE.

Huzzah for Mucous!

Not that we didn't already know it wasn't a wonder worker. But it helps us smell! Or it helps robots smell. Shoe the fell nose. These new scientific findings are amazing me! First we find out that we owe our intelligence to AIDs-like retroviruses, now we know further magicks of our valorous secretions!

Hurray! Hurrah! Huzzah! Three cheers for CYBORG SNOT!

This came from a good article I found on StumbleUpon about interesting, buried stories of 2007. Here.