Thursday, January 31, 2008

My Apologies: Dane Cook, comedian for College Republicans

I apologize deeply to all of my regular reader on A&S for my last post. It was unwarranted. There's no need to so scroll down, I'll just tell you instead of showing you. I posted a Dane Cook video. Dane Cook basically represents all that is reprehensible in this world; but he's only a representation. Nonetheless, I shouldn't have posted that video. It's like giving pornography to a preteen--it's a meeting of two things that will happen anyway, but one shouldn't consciously enable it--it's just bad form. I'm on my knees; I'm one-hundred percent apologetic and one-hundred percent sorry. No sarcasm or meta-sarcasm here. I'm sorry. Well, maybe a little sarcasm, I should say. Sub-hiro aka Kat-man wrote me:

Anyways, good luck.....don't forget to
write and keep on blogging, but spare us the Dane
cook, what a horrible routine. I was going to post a
Richard Pryor clip. THe problem with COok I saw from
that one clip is that he can't tell a fucking story.
Pryor was the master story teller...ANd then there is
Groucho...who tops them all......There is a guy on the
Dr. Phil show is has over 200,000 dollars worth of
Star Wars gear (over 6000 pieces) is girl friend had
no idea about his collection until after he proposed
to her!! "I don't think it's obsessive.." WHen Dr. Phil
asks him how many Storm troppers he has the guy says
"Which size? the 3 and 3/4 ones or larger. Packed or
unpacked?" Over 300 is the answer but as the show
progresses the guy says he only wants to lose weight
so he can fit into his own Storm Trooper Suit.....

I added his digression because digression is a form of mutation and mutation is the only form of evolutionary development that is tried and tested and true. Also, my reader usually likes Star Wars stuff. I'll see if I can track down clips from that show. But back to the main point. I was taking a shower earlier thinking about what I'd put on this post; I have a firm commitment not to redact anything I say, but I can contradict myself. As a "Creative" blogger, which is what I consider myself, I feel this is Kosher. But it was not right for me to subject anybody to that youtube clip. Back in the shower, I was thinking of apt analogies for Dane Cook; whether or not he was the Mitt Romney of Comedy, or the Jonah Goldberg of Comedy, or the Live of Comedy (which doesn't ring very well, so maybe it's most apt), or the Thinking Person's piece of midsummer's dead dogmeat sweltering and putrifying the environs. I think the Live of comedy is apt. He's not quite the Dave Mathews band of comedy. For all his faults, Dave Mathews does seem to be self-aware. Maybe he's the Maroon 5 of comedy--I remember they were popular last year. I do like the idea that he's the Jonah Goldberg of comedy, even though Jonah is at least ten years older. Well, let me tell you what I know about Live. They are an old band, because they're in my well-worn copy of Spin's Guide to Alternative Music--so maybe Jonah Goldberg is the Live of whatever it is that Jonah Goldberg does. Anyhow, when I was using Limewire a couple of years ago I was looking for Johnny Cash songs and I found a live Live cover of "Hurt," I listened to it and it really was one of the most heinous things I've encountered. Their arrangement was dreadful from top to bottom; and then, at the end they said, not like an Elvisian dismissive but grateful "Thanyu'vree-mch" they said, "Johnny Cash." And another musician said "That was Johnny Cash. Everyone, Johnny Cash." No you fucking tools. Nine Inch Nails. I like Johnny Cash very much, but give credit where credit's due--especially when your audience is composed of molluscs. So though it's a dated reference, I guess "Live" would be most analogous in my personal cosmology to Dane Cook. Why do I go on about this? I guess the same way the liberal blogosphere goes on about Jonah Goldberg. We have to fight this machine at every level. And just as when Jonah Goldberg equates the normative vast ideology of "Liberalism" to "Fascism," it is analogous to equating the sonic creations of the post-grunge band "Live" as "Rock," as it would be to associate the mewling histrionics of a self-infatuated frathouse blowhard like Dane Cook to the legacy of the great American comedic tradition, be it Richard Pryor, Bill Hicks, or, God Help Us, the holy Groucho. The big boys are tackling Jonah properly, hilariously so: I point you to Sadly, No! and The Poorman for that--not to mention the indefatigably obsessive Orcinus (bless his soul.) In the meantime, I will continue to atone for my sins. I will post in the not so distant future some youtube videos that nurture, not enervate.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I am so sloppy it's beautiful, almost artful- "asks..."

Love the music. You have one funky nephew. Careful that he doesn't go Michael Jackson on you...GO PATS!!!!