Monday, April 14, 2008

So Long Losers, Whom I've Always Hated

No just kidding, that's a reference to Futurama. One of those things I think about and I can't help inwardly if not outwardly chuckle about. (Just like John Oliver's Fox News gatecrashing.) I thought it was a funny line, and I've been saying to people around here, but it's not true. I haven't always hated you. I've never hated you.

I thought it would fun to do that in intermediate to advanced language class and explore the nuances of these phrases:

I love you.
I always love you.
I am always loving you.
I have loved you.
I have always loved you.
I loved you.
I could have loved you.
I would have loved you.
I might have loved you.
I should have loved you.
I wouldn't have loved you...etc....

Obviously, you could do it with other verbs, but using love (or hate) would make it more interesting for the class.

Anyhow, when we're on the subject of Robots, there's buzz on the net: an interesting question posed by an interesting blog [or blogs I don't understand the web anymore (I found it via]: if you were a robot, and I knew, but you didn't, would you want me to tell you you were a robot?

Interesting. But it would sure depend on the robot. If it's the air-hockey robot, it might just reply that it doesn't care, as long as it beats you in air-hockey. These kinds of questions are why most of San Francisco, I mean Science Fiction sucks.

I'll be in San Francisco on Tuesday!

Maybe the question should be: if you were a robot, and I knew, but you didn't, would I want me to kiss you? Interesting twist, eh?

Now I'm going to use a robot translator for my love poem:

Here's English to Danish to English:
I love you. I forever love you. I am forever affectionate you. I've love you. I've forever love you. I love you. I could receive love you. I ville receive love you. I be at liberty to receive love you. I ought receive love you. I ville that no receive love you. and the like

Here's English to German to German to Polish to Polish to English:
me tendering this status pleasantry until yield owa on collateral until lichen programming language classify as well ausbaldowieren this nuances over this phrases : me love she. me in each love she. me bin in each fond she. me assets loves she. me assets in each loves she. me loves she. me may rashness well-beloved she. me status possess loves she. me mógł rashness well-beloved she. me ought rashness well-beloved she. me status rashness well-beloved she. etc.

Here's English to Brazilian Portueguese to BP to Bulgarian to Bulgarian to English:
АЗ чудо he shoulder be play action a част what em middle определителен член front език ear & investigate определителен член shade на these phrase : АЗ love you. АЗ always love you. АЗ be always lover you. АЗ obtain love you. АЗ obtain always love you. АЗ love you. АЗ p.t. from can tem love you. I'd have love you. АЗ p.t. from may obtain love you. I'd have love you. АЗ as if have love you. etc.

here's my favorite so far, English-Italian-Dutch-Spanish-English
MY thought spent would creature pleasure run on leave expensive whom UNITED NATIONS hub run on leave UNITED NATIONS staid tongue scope or substantiation does the point until multicolored nought this saying : MY sweetmeat you. MY forever sweetmeat you. They swimm forever loving you. I've sweetmeat you. I've forever sweetmeat you. MY sweetmeat you. MY might one's sweetmeat you. MY would creature one's sweetmeat you. MY May MY one's sweetmeat you. MY will one's sweetmeat you. MY would creature one's sweetmeat you. etc

Here's more translator experimentation.

(Go ahead and kick your robot friend in the back of the knee. Actually, the name of that jpeg is "the robot that would not fall down!" And would a robot that can't fall down need friends???)
The real question is, if you know your friend is a robot, and they don't know you're a robot, I mean, they don't know that they're really the robot, how do you know you're not really a robot too??????? Ooooooooooh.

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