The 2 best items I acquired from my in-laws this Xmas.

Check it out, judging from these, I must be the hardest Jew to buy Xmas gifts for....

It's just an odd little pot my Father-in-law gave me. Random...we're gonna put kitchen utensils it. I told him I'd use it at the office, but I only have one pen there...
and...

From my mother-in-law. To her credit she always gives us little silly things like this every year, but usually it's a whole can of Spam...not just this single...but, in hindsight, I think it does suit my crazy, on-the-go lifestyle...

Here's a detail:

Time to go to Crazy tasty town!

I also got some Boba Fett pens, but those were pretty cool.

Waste

There are a million things here....but, christ not ENOUGH writing is done here....so much of the web is showing off fucking Products...but I want more content....but the only way to add it is to do it....right? So I will...fer now, when it is late, and the kids are asleep and my belly is full of shnitze and fried eggs and good german beer...and I'm not so alienated anymore....right? BUt I can't forget what it is were here for, right...just want to stumble around, feel the soul come out-----fuck that horseshitnonsense, but, well, I can't type, but I can hear the train not far from my house...and that's what I want to be...carrying coal all night long. There was a time in my youth when information was not so legible...I want kids to be there..but they won't. they are already smarter then me. BUt I AM healthy tho I fell on my ass earlier tonight. down the carpeted basement stairs I went, while talking with my son about weather or not he was going to follow me down the stairs...but too late, I was already there. Sorry, buddy, sorry. This is a KOrean keyboard I type on. Good luck. Every last movie I see has Clooney in it, but That's not that bad. Dan posting korine blurbs. and that is not what I am looking forward to...not my kind of REALISM...no....think of the band Gomez! English junkers wanting to be black americans! that's wheres...its at. for now,at least..

Beef Cooler of the New Millenium

I recommend the time saver called meatwater.

There's a decent interview with the inventor here.

Back in my bohemian days we'd boil up some beef stock and then chill it and pack it into a big jug and drink it out in the parks while we talked about poetry. But everything's got all high tech now.


If they could just reduce into a sort of food paste, that would improve it. You could brush your teeth and eat lunch at the same time.

...can't remember where I found this. Must have been on lifehacker.

Orbita Freestyle

On the front of the mouse war, we've got the Orbita Freestyle. This, and a foot mouse might be my answer to ergonomic heaven.

To follow up on the Hadron: it appears that we were so close to annihilating the planet that some sort of terminator appeared from the future to make it stop working.

h/t the internet.

I'm very close to buying an overpriced laptop so that I can start making music again. It's exciting; it's harrowing.

The Mouse is 40 years old

Time for it to die.

I think I might be going no-hands mouse. The song at the end of this promo basically all but convinced me:


I'm behind the times, I guess it's called Non-Specific Arm Pain now. That seems like a bit too much of an existential appellation. Something like non-specific life pain.

The Evolution Control Commitee's alternative controller setup

THIS is what I want. At work. At home. On the bus. When I sleep.

Ero Vs. Castanets

Here's a good review of A&S lurker Ero Gray's dub re-interpretation of Castanet's City of Refuge. From the review:

If Raymond Raposa's album is what despair in the desert sounds like, then Gray's version, Dub Refuge, is what that same despair sounds like when it echoes and thumps inside your lonely, parched skull.

You would be insane not to want a piece of this.

Here's the link to it on Asthmatic Kitty.
Congrats to heroic Ero, dub-man, poet of the dessert of the real.

Get published 50,000 years from now

You can send a personal message into an outerspace timecapsule that

will be launched by an Ariane 5 rocket into an orbit 1,800 km high, an altitude that will bring it back to Earth in 500 centuries, the same amount of time that has elapsed since early humans started to draw in cavern walls.

Get your kids and your grandparents to write notes:

Every person is invited to write a message addressed to the future inhabitants—the deadline is December 31, 2009. Messages can be posted via the project's website, or sent by postal mail. The organizers encourage everybody to gather messages from children, senior citizens and the illiterate so that every culture and demographic on Earth is represented. The satellite has enough capacity to carry a four-page message from each of the more than six billion inhabitants on the planet. Once the satellite is launched, the messages (with personal names removed) will be made freely available on the web.

I think I will either publish a Conan the Barbarian story, or a message from Kirk:

Making Tron Real

Long time readers know that I'm into alternatives to mice for controlling my computer. So far, the best we have are trackballs. But this might be taking us somewhere where I want to be:

So far it's only the finger that gets to go into tron-space to fondle the digital panda. But if your hand gets to go in, and possibly, your whole arm, well, then you may get to that level of organic movement that may be less damaging than our current interfaces. Supposedly, the most ergonomic form a keyboard could take is a ball, about the size of a beach ball with the keys on the sides. Well, if your hand could merge with the monitor in a digital opening, like the finger poking at the panda on the tire swing, you could interface with a virtual mouse and virtual keyboard that would let you do all sorts of things that would look like interpretive dance, and be better for your musculature.

Here's a direct link to the Japanese site.

Ann Coulter and I agree about something

Although I would use the word "pinko" in an affectionate way:

Let's face it: The former frat boys who populate Wall Street today understand economics as well as the pinko professors whose courses they snored through.

Speaking of Rock Music that Matters

Whoa, and I just happened to be wearing my Mission of Burma t-shirt today!

from the Mission of Burma Myspace blog:

Mission of Burma tracks on Rock Band 2 Out Today

November 18th, 2008 - Now you can jam along with Mission of Burma in your very own home. Rock Band 2 for Xbox and Playstation 3 have released a three-pack of Burma songs including "Mica," "That's When I Reach For My Revolver" and "That's How I Escaped My Certain Fate." Buy each song separately for 160 Microsoft Points ($2.00) or buy all three for 440 MS ($5.50)! Songs are available for purchase on Xbox Live or PlayStation Network, respectively


And we were gonna buy a wii this gifting season!

The Only Rock Critic that matters

Ronald Thomas Clontle won't steer you wrong.

UPDATE!

Here/hear the man himself speak:

	Scharpling & Wurster - Rock, Rot & Rule
	Found at skreemr.com

Poetry from Jason Irwin

FIRST DATE

We were having appetizers
at the museum of urology.
Me, sipping a cup of lemonade
and you, munching a kidney
shaped cookie.
If not for the waitress
dressed like a giant ovary,
whom I couldn't help but undress
in my mind, and all those jars
of pickled prostates,
I might have noticed
that sparkle in your eyes,
the way you licked your lips
after speaking my name.

When Jason sent me this poem, I thought the whole thing was from his imagination. Well. Click here for more information on the museum of urology. Jason tells me that Dr. Engels was his doctor at Johns Hopkins.

Hope Manifested

Looks something like this.

Korea, Seoul, September-October-November 2008

This is a pc bang. This is where I call you on the weekends.


Some colors from Fall, outside of the city.

Dongdaemun. Biggest shopping area in town.




Entertainer in Dongdaemun.

Former co-worker.

Friends. Some are former students.

My coworkers expressing their love for each other and a doner kebab.

Lotte Department Store.

Most of these are Itaewon on Halloween.



More refugees from Pagoda.

The girls at Mr. Beans made my likeness in my latte.

Clam bake, Korea-style. (With Denise, a teacher at my building.)




Interesting graffiti!

The NEW Change!

Finally, something better than some sort of national service act.

Even More Change!

Get the latest news satire and funny videos at 236.com.

The first signs of Change!

Stock up!, from the Denver Post.

The end of satire as we know it

What will the satirists do once W is gone?

They will satire people who think that there's nothing left to satire.

UPDATE.

We can always freeze and then clone the unsatirable until we develop the technology to satire it.

UPDATE 2. Maybe satire IS over.

Wolf Blitzer using Star Wars-like hologram technology.

One for the Road...

The Heptones...

On Kashmir, Peace, and Tomorrow

http://broadband.indiatimes.com/toishowvideo/3668508.cms

This is why Obama gets my vote; Peace in Kashmir. One of the most beautiful places in the world. So great even Led Zepplin wrote a song about the place.

Vote!! An administration, even if founded in the ancient tradition of religious socialist-Marxism, that can revolve around peace and fiscal responsibility is one for me. I'm easily swayed, I guess.

But still, I can't help but worry about the dirty little secrets about voting that go untold..

Peace...

Tom Delay is connecting all the dots; Barack Obama is a Marxist Theologian

I love this intercourse between Tom Delay and Chris Mathews.

As Crooks and Liars quotes:

"He must agree with the Marxist theology of black liberation theology."

"I tagged Barack Obama as a Marxist months ago. [...] He's a Marxist, or a socialist at best."

He claims that Barack Obama is a Black Marxist Theologian.

Ahem. I want to know how Obama can reconcile Marxism with a Creator.

He says Obama is more left than Gore and Kerry combined. How you transmute a quanlity like 'liberalism' into a quantity.

Also, the real Barack Obama is coming out. Although, why he would come out before the election, I don't know. That's some October surprise.

I think Tom Delay was one of those kids who had one of those connect the dots books, and he didn't just connect the dots that made out the outline, but made a big scribbley mess connecting EVERY SINGLE DOT. Come on guys. The consensus seems to be that McCain is losing because the Republicans could never rally around a single narrative. I think they could switch things around if they just say Barack Obama is MC Ren.

But seriously, when the Republicans lose (as Sarah Palin is counting on,) everyone is going to blame McCain. And he has been running a truly incompetent campaign (just think of what he'd do to this country?--it'd be worse than Bush, though Bush set the bar.) I doubt that the Right and the Washington Press Corps will give the credit due to Obama for running a brilliant campaign. As a wanna-be Marxist Theologian (which conflicts with my Jesus wanna-be aspirations, not to mention my Jesus aspirations), I find Obama too conservative for my tastes. I mean, he taught at the law school at the University of Chicago, the most prestigious right-wing law school in the US. But I can certainly appreciate his political aptitude. I think he's brilliant, and if he loses, it will be due to a conspiracy.

SO SAYS I.

It seems that humanity is at a crossroads

It can go either here, or here.

Art in the Universe, Yoko Ono, Remembering Charles Lloyd's words

This may very well be one of the most beautiful things you will ever hear. Or it may sound like Meltmaster was at it in the studio. Is the sun in Bflat? How did the producers of Star Trek know?

But it can it produce music as awsome as what I heard from the Tops Field Fair last week?

What a show! Only one wasn't the orignal member. And the biker dude was teased through out the show. They kept on calling him "Rehab". It's not easy being them. 100 million albums later (according to them) you would think it was!!

An idiot romances the dance.

Why socialism isn't an epithet?

Why are sci-fi people self-hating? (Because most sci-fi is terrible.)

Cursor.org is out of money. Sucks. I used to check it several times a week. I think I even gave them twenty dollars once.

The Dusty Show with Clay Pigeon is still awesome.

Wired magazine tells me that blogs have been outmoded. It's been replaced by twitter and facebook. Don't bother starting a blog, says they! For some reason they seem to think the only reason to write a blog is to become famous.

Go Here For a Random Website!

Here is a random paragraph generator. Haven't come up with a good one yet, though. Getting some good ones from the random sentence generator. This settled scientist leans on top of an alleged nuisance. A blurb pretends. Any era wets the kernel. A finer stare betters the directive.

Another random website generator.






Here is the article Naomi Klein references in the NYT.

My MFA is even more worthless now

Robo coffee makers at the Korea Robo World 2008:



Of course they don't got one that teaches English. Yet. But I think I may even fail the Turing test at my online job, so it all evens out.

Freee Million-dollar idea:
Robo bar

Socialism and Public School

Talking with a colleague at work (ok, my only colleague), I stated that I thought that it was taken for granted that public education is a form of socialism. As many people from the states, she didn't seem to want to go so far to say that. Why not? This isn't an isolated thing. If you talk about socialism with lots of Americans, they get nervous. So I'd first thought I'd share with you, via haphazard googling, this snippet of wisdom from someone who is very much against anything socialist. To wit:

Other famous supporters of public education include Hitler, Stalin, Castro, Mao Zedong, Mussolini, and every other 20th-century dictator, as well as virtually every politician throughout the entire world. It is thus truly amazing that private education has not been almost completely eliminated by now.

And then this telling bit:

Chase asserts, “We live in an age that glorifies the market.” Boy, you sure could have fooled me. If what he says is true, then why do we find that the government is extensively involved in virtually every human activity, including providing pornography to the general public by means of the “romance” novels that are available at public libraries?

I think it is time for people who believe in public education, health care, and political rights start seeing that education IS a form of socialism. Just listen to this libertarian:

I am amazed at how often my online arguments must detour to define socialism for people who vehemently support its principles yet just as vehemently deny that they are socialists. Therefore, to head off confusion, I'll put a working definition up front:

Socialism: "Government mandated social engineering (shaping society or shaping individuals to conform to a societal ideal)."

On the political left, that especially involves economic control up to and including collective ownership and operation of commercial enterprise. If you have a different or better definition, or if you can help me to refine mine, please let me know.

They idea of socialism from this point of view seems abhorrent from the point of view of self-described individualists--who somehow in this ideal free market thrive automatically. But it just seems delusional to think that excising all forms of so-called "collectivism" will cure all of of society's ills. (If I'm allowed to use the word society, that is.) But what I'm concerned about is not this open form of anti-socialism. As far as I'm concerned, if you are an avowed libertarian, more power to you. What I'm concerned about is self-avowed moderates or neo-liberals, or even self-avowed lefties who cannot bring themselves to utter the word "socialism." There is some visceral gut revulsion that seems to pervade all levels of political discourse. I guess partly that's part of the American Individual ideal, the frontier spirit and all that. And then it's been bolstered by neo-liberalism of the Reagan years. These people who read neo-liberal publications like The Economist and the works of Thomas Friedman see the underpinnings of the ideal free-market as a logical extension and improvement over the previous, naive New Deal and Great Society. We are talking about extremes of point-of-views here, but they are somehow reconciled in a strange way in the US. For example, take this statement, by a commenter from this website:

"Boot the Socialist Government out. Vote as if your life depends on it, because it does! I know what lies behind the generous marxist rethoric because I was born and raised in the Socialist Republic of Romania. Everywhere Marxism gets to Power, it brings Poverty, Ruins the Economy and reduces human beings to Slaves. South America, Asia, Africa, Eastern Europe - are all a living testimony for those who think Marxism is a great idea. You cannot be a Marxist and a Christian in the same time. They are pro-aborts and the biggest persecutors of Christian Faith. The daughters of Romania have become the prostitutes of Europe and the Middle East, as a result of Socialism's systematic cultural destruction post WW2. Can you feel my pain ? Vote McCain-Palin and Rebuke an Obamic Marxist today. Freedom requires action."

This is decidedly non-sober and reactionary, but in the US socialism for neo-liberals it is basically the same thing as Marxism. You could try to go into the history of socialism and try to point out that it wasn't Marx who invented socialism. But once you go down that road, most Americans will immediately tune you out. The magic word socialism and its connotations immediately drown out any other opportunities for clear thought. It is a visceral reaction that I've seen countless times.

If you look at homeschooling websites, it appears that the idea that Public Education is Socialism is at the heart of the whole movement.

Some say the socialist sabotage of school in America began centuries ago, long before the America that we know was established. Socialism itself began centuries ago and it is this philosophical and political view that many claim have the heart of America in its sights. Socialism promotes a general education for all, paid for by the government: the opposite of home school ideals. This can be traced back to Karl Marx himself who claimed that abolishing the family was necessary because it was the breeding ground of Christian and capitalist ideals. Without the family, there is no home school.

There's a host of things that this makes me want to scream and rant about, but what I want to ask my fellow liberals, is SEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!?!?!!? Do you support the idea of public school? Do you support the idea of regulation of industry? Regulation of industry means TRANSPARENCY. Public education means equal access to the tools of political empowerment. Public education is the foundation of democracy. No system is perfect, but we shouldn't nip grassroots tools in the bud just because they have the taint of abstract concepts that have been incessantly vilified.

UPDATE:

It's confirmed. School vouchers are socialist too. The commies in Sweden have them. Wait! I'm confused! Wait I'm thinking! Okay, I've stopped thinking. I'm not confused anymore.

UPDATE 2:

Here's a guy who doesn't regret voting democratic in 2004, but has disavowed socialism:

What socialists fail to realize is that if everyone is entitled, nobody is working. If I’m entitled to three “free” meals a day, “free” healthcare, “free” education, “free” housing, “free” daycare and a big screen TV, who the heck is paying for it? It certainly isn’t me, because if I can get everything for “free”, I’ve honestly got no incentive to work. If I didn’t have to earn a living, I wouldn’t. If I didn’t have to pay bills, I’d sit around writing for my blog all day every day. And by golly, if I’m educated enough to know how to write words in a sensible manner, doesn’t that entitle me to get everything for “free”? Of course not! I don’t feel that anyone deserves anything more from society than they put into it. And if I’m not willing to get off my arse and work, I don’t deserve jack. Yes, you heard me–I just said I’m not a socialist. The great thing about my upbringing is that those values that I was taught as a child are very near and dear to me. I may have been led astray, but I’ve returned.

Somehow he survived Missoula--but just barely. He was almost brainwashed into socialism. Of course, he seems to have had access to education as a kid and an opportunity to politically empower himself. Nonetheless, he's against the very system that gave him those tools. If his parents were so libertarian, I wonder why they allowed him to go in the first place? And EVERYBODY knows that FREAKING Missoula is commie-breeding grounds--who let him and his tender young mind go there? Close call!

Anyhow, as I attempt to doff my cloak of sarcastic obfuscation, I'll try to point out that this sort of attitude is the common thread in the fabric of US discourse about socialism. Any sort of socialism is a refutation of the "individual," the independent gains of one are shat upon by the institution of enforced collectivism. Any nod to the need for some sort of collective interest is in effect pissing and shitting all over the face of the worker and his mother and their attempts to get along by their bare knuckles. The public school is a public bathroom, stinking of slapdash applied disinfectants, filth from lazy people; I would rather die trying to get rich than live a life in the waste of the indolent. (So much for losing the sarcasm.)

Sarah Palin as Berklee School of Music Senior Thesis

I wish all TV was like this.

Obama as the Manchurian Candidate

I don't understand how he could be the Manchurian candidate. McCain is the one who was the POW! Of course, in the movie it was Korea, not Vietnam. So there you go.


Still, the Hannity movie is hilarious. (In a scary kind of way.)



UPDATE: Here's the background.

The Amen Break: A Short Doc

It's amazing what's been done with this little scrap of recorded time.

Here's the original:

NWA makes the AMEN angry.

early drum n bass


early dark drum n bass, Ed Rush:


But it's in the dark and in the mellow tunes. Examples abound. How about Oasis with the Amen? Much better!


The Amen break goes in and out of fashion. Around the time of Pendulum, circa 2005, it was coming back. They use it in really fresh ways. (If you're into that sort of thing.)


Venetian Snares, my favorite of the breakcore/idm amen-breakers. Most every song of his seems to have the amen break.


And so on.

Here is a link to some of mine.

Banjo Brain Surgery!!!!

And there's a few funny jokes in the comment sections. To boot.

Castanets and Ero Gray

Ero is famous in my book. He's on metacritic!

City Of Refuge by Castanets
The fourth album for the indie rock band features guest appearances by Jana Hunter, Sufjan Stevens, Dawn Smithson, Scot Tuma, and Ero Gray.

Here's the AMG listing.

The More Massive the Planet

BIG STUFF

We're now beginning to think that the more massive the star, the more massive the planet...

The more massive the ALIEN TRACTORS.

The Stuart Davis Show

Denver-based clones.

Comic Book Characters and their associated religions; VP picks and the third wave

The third wave is always the most trashy:

via this
Check and see who your favorite comic book character worships.

Celebrate today in case we only have the morning to live...

I don't really understand what it is supposed to do. But maybe this will explain it...


Now she makes it seem that they are all in control....however...let's say someone allows a little glitch to occur....who knows:



Or- worse case scenerio:

Great Vaction Ideas..be there or be square

...And another good reason to visit America......All Angry and Sloppy heads it's your duty to fulfill the true purpose of this site and attend this "ceremony"....

Back on the saddle...

It's been a long time Angry and Slopites. After a blackout on rush hour trains, MRIs, echo cardiograms, x-rays, and a brief misdiagnosis of Lyme disease I'm back. No worries, it was only pneumonia - nothing a weeks works of antibiotics couldn't heal- though the after math is another story. the whole experience has taught me that blacking out during rush hour does not bring out the compassion in others as one would think.

Here's what happened: After gaining consciousness and waking up on a seat (I was standing before I fell) I awoke to a bunch of people staring at me, and only after I asked three times "why are you all staring at me like that?" did someone finally speak. A moment later someone yelled, "Can we go now, he looks fine?" I'm glad someone cared...! Was this the government attempting to wipe my mind clean? Do I know too much about the Alien Black Market? Were they behind this incident? And, who was the creature behind me on the train with the green skin? I ask this now because I was left clueless of the incident until two EMT people arrived on the scene and walked me off the train. They were nice people and patient with my confusion. They stuck an oxygen tube in my nose and asked me questions about dates, names and identity. We were also stuck in the elevator due to poor gurney technique and then stuck in rush hour traffic due to improper driving tactics; we should have taken the highway to the hospital. I spent weeks in isolation, tired in contemplation all the while cursing the contagious viral illness that plagued me.

I tell this story as a cautionary tale. Be aware of the trains you pick to sit in. Choose the ones which may contain people who are willing to help, not stare. Look for people wearing scrubs, look for grand mothers looking for someone to tend to, and look for shamans, new agesters, and hippies.

Much has happened in the world in the last month. But the big event has yet to occur. And for those keeping score - September 10th is the date you should recognize. It's the date all answers about who we are may be answered. It's the date of multidimensional universes may be reveled - or at least the steps to such answers will begin....

Welcome to the world of the Harden Collider.

I love the photos of Korea Sarc. And Thod's video of Dennis K.- Awesome!!

And for those willing to pay a small fee- ONLY TEN DOLLARS - willing to explore travelling in time travel this is your site. By investing now they will put your money and invest it. When time travel occurs they will send some one in the future take you there and you will get the ten dollars PLUS all the interest!! WOW, you might have millions waiting for you 500 years from now...They have it all figured out. Anyone up for the challenge? Funny thing is I told a friend about this site three weeks and no one has seen him since. Last thing I heard was that he had borrowed ten dollars from his mother...

As Sun Ra says: Space is the Place.

(Time travel earnings or new economic programs from Obama and McCain..?

Grammar is rubbish

Looky here:

8. How about "none of them is" and "none of them are"? Most people would use the latter whereas the former is correct. "None" is short for "not one" therefore "not one (none) of them is" would be used. Most newsreaders still get it right though - on the BBC anyway!
Emily, Bristol

NOTE: Fowler's Modern English Usage says that "none" is not short for "not one" and although using a singular verb is more common, using a plural verb has also been an acceptable option since the reign of King Alfred.

OHHH thank you King Alfred. Since they were doing it in King Alfred's day then it's okay if WEEEE DOOOO.

UPDATE

Okay, I agree with this one:

11. I find the increasing, incorrect use of "literally" annoying.... "I literally went blue with anger!!" "Really?" I ask.
Ned, Wallingford

'Literally' has literally losts its meaning.

Geek Love

I think I blog about my dreams sometimes, and vice versa. Last night I was at some informal party and Laurie Anderson and Yoko Ono were talking. I sort of edged closer to them and Laurie Anderson was talking about how she got married to Lou Reed because they wanted a family for their kids. I don't know if they have kids in real life, but that's what she said in the dream. Yoko was asking Laurie about being a married artist, and Laurie talked about incorporating Lou in some of her nude video installations. It was weird at first for Lou, she said, but he's gotten used to it. Then I sort of insinuated myself into the conversation as I edged closer and closer to the casually-chatting superstar artists, and I asked Yoko about the old New York days. She said she liked John Cale's work. I asked her if she liked La Monte Young. She laughed and said "Like La Monte Young?" Apparently she thought he was a real asshole, but she liked his work.

Amy Goodman Arrested

Disturbing footage of an authoritarian state in action. I don't know what the exact context of this was...

Update: Here's all the info you need.

I am in the news lag zone, here in Korea.

Dennis Kucinich in Denver. At the Skylark

UPDATE. You're too late. You missed it. We've scrubbed the slop.

Clinton supporters for McCain

Straight-up racists.

Adkins says the group itself didn't support or oppose a specific candidate — the members just wanted to take Obama to task for comments they felt denigrated Christianity. Adkins, who says she's an independent who voted for Democrat John Kerry in 2004, has much stronger feelings about Obama.

"I truly fear an Obama presidency. This guy's so dangerous, who needs al-Qaida?" she told me.

Speaking of which, here's a post about neo-nazi's infiltrating the army. Christ! Effying Tom Tancredo says we should be concerned. I don't know what that means!

McCain and Universal Healthcare

From CNN:

"A health care policy adviser for the McCain campaign told a newspaper reporter that nobody in the United States is technically uninsured, because everyone has access to hospital emergency rooms.

"So I have a solution [to the health care crisis]. And it will cost not one thin dime," John Goodman, president of the National Center for Policy Analysis, told the Dallas Morning News in an interview published Thursday.

"The next president of the United States should sign an executive order requiring the Census Bureau to cease and desist from describing any American – even illegal aliens – as uninsured. Instead, the bureau should categorize people according to the likely source of payment should they need care. So, there you have it. Voila! Problem solved."

Hospital emergency rooms cannot technically turn away anyone for financial reasons.

"So instead of producing worthless statistics that people fling around in vacuous editorials and pointless debates, the Census Bureau should produce meaningful numbers, identifying all of the sources of funds people will draw on if they need medical care," said Goodman, who helped write McCain’s health care plan.

That plan would use a combination of tax incentives and market competition to make health care more affordable. It is not a universal health care plan – it does not guarantee insurance coverage for every American.

DNC road blocks