Monday, January 16, 2006

Living in New York: A Personal Note

I don't know how much longer I can do it. I am still without a job, and I can't pay my minimum on my credit card, nor my rent. Because I am addicted to pharmaceuticals, I can't go off them without severe consequences to my health. Meanwhile, I have huge debt due to this MFA I've earned.

I don't know how much longer I can stay here. I might have to temporarily move back home to Denver. I would just stay there for half a year, hopefully make a little bit of money so I can finish shooting the movies I'm working on. And then, off to China to make me some cash teaching English.

I love New York. And the hardest part would be moving away from my friends. The absolute hardest. I've made the best friends I've ever had here in New York (except those friends of mine I made before I moved to New York and also read this blog.) But what can I do? The fact of the matter is, is that the economy is shitty, New York life is stressful, and I don't need New York to do my art. I can always move back if I get some capital stored up. But more likely I would move to the West Coast.

Last year, right after I got back from Spain, I thought I was in similar boat, and then I got that job at CCM. I'm glad I had that opportunity. And maybe I'll get a job out of the blue, tomorrow or the day after. But staying healthy and paying my bills and everything else doesn't seem like a realistic scenario right now.


The Global War On Error said...

well, for selfish reasons i certainly hope you're being unduly pessimistic.

on the other hand, I HAVE a job, and think pretty constantly about how dumb I must be to pay such high rent. It's like having a serious cocaine habit or something... only it's a New York City habit. The only way to get control of our lives might just be to stop the madness and get rid of the NYC in our lives. No matter how frugally you live, it seems like we're always gonna need more money, just because so much of it goes to rent. If we were smart, we'd get this monkey off our back, and stop living like crack whores.

on the other other hand (for the three-armed among us), this is a place with a lot to recommend it. The high from this drug is particularly compelling.

Here's hoping you get a corporate job that pays you $80K salary, so that you can live high on the hog for a while, and get your fill of the newyorkahol.

If you do wind up going into exile, make sure you wind up in a nice place that the Super-Cyber-Hacker and I wind up in eventually too....

sarcasmus said...

I make movies??