Thursday, July 10, 2008

Bridge Trolls

Atrios posts about an impending crisis that affects both the human and the troglodyte world. Namely, Bridge Trolls. I have not read Atrios' post, but I assume that he points out the main problems that humans face. Namely, the crumbling of your bridges, and the needless consumption of your children. I am not up to date on your scholarship, but I would assume that there is a great deal of elucidation needed on this subject. Humans tend to lump the so deemed 'lower denizens' of the Earth into one ill-stacked pile.

As god of the troglodytes, I know a great deal on this subject.

There is a great difference between The Common Bridge Troll and your garden variety troglodyte. Make sure to do your research, humans.

UPDATE: Dan wanted me to be a little more specific. It should be noted that these are the secret notes of a besieged god. I am in hiding, location undisclosed. When I get a new computer, I can start recording again, using the Skype program.

Anyhow, the things you should know about Bridge Trolls is that they are not higher lifeforms. They are cunning, essentially stupid animals. They are not creatures of reason. Above all, it should be noted, that these benighted creatures do not have recognizably developed palates. They do not appreciate the full, fruity flavors of a child in its prime. They suck it of its nutrients fully ignorant of its savor, of its life-giving attributes.

I have found a youtube video of a Bridge Troll. This one, surprisingly or unsurprisingly, has somehow managed to assimilate itself into your culture.

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