The More Massive the Planet

BIG STUFF

We're now beginning to think that the more massive the star, the more massive the planet...

The more massive the ALIEN TRACTORS.

Camel, Love and the ABM- a report

Once the poster "children" for human rights's abuses, middle eastern child camel jockeys have been shunned from their sport due to the advances of modern technology. A move that has child advocates around the world cheering.
"Oil-rich Abu Dubai..have begun using remote-controlled robot riders in its camel races in place of child jockeys." For one young Jockey this has come has no surprise.
"We knew the times were changing when we were flown to California, in the United States, to the EA Sports laboratories." Young Solman El-Din states. "For three days we were wired from head to toe and placed on ad-hoc camels made of broom mop tops and pillows." Before the young Jockey, made famous for being denied entrance in the 2007 Kentucky derby for qualifying with a steroid enhanced super camel , had the chance to participate in one final race before puberty set in. he was told to throw away his silks and put away the whip. Welcome to the 21st century of camel riding, he poised.
But one thing young El-Din did not realize was that he was part of the great Alien Black Market.
"For years Aliens had been focusing too much on selling to military." States an insider to ABM activities. "But the military didn't need Alien technology. It was too basic, not destructive enough."
For five years the Aliens sought out government officials in the hopes of making a small fortune until they discovered the Alien Black Market.
"They never thought about how their technology could be used for good. They wanted to see destruction. In the end it was all just a matter of marketing. A concept that they had no sense for." The insider states. "The ABM used their Saudi Connections. A young Sheik named Hamel Diner was the first to contact the ABM. He was simply trying to bridge politically correctness and technology together, hoping to somehow get an edge over his competitors."
"I can't say where the technology actually from," Diner states. His youthful gaze hides the secret knowledge he may possess about our interplanetary strangers. "But my connections from the EAs Sports Lab were somehow able to inject the robot with the young riders competitive DNA through a process I don't understand."
EAs Sports refused to comment on this story, and denies any involvement with camel racing. But a young programmer from the video game company did comment:
"We focus solely on North American gaming save Rugby, Soccer, Cricket, Ping Pong, and Curling."
The amazing robots have allowed the camels to race with speeds that have shocked horse breeders in America.
"It's scary," Says Kent Rockworth. Kent has been training horses for thirty years in North Tennessee. "If you see the robots after each race you see them talking to the camels. I have heard that they can actually communicate with the animals."
Indeed such instances have been frequently noticed. But few reporters are allowed access to the robots. They are quickly shuffled from the track to the stable immediately after each race.
"Each robot has it's own strength." Diner says. "They are six generations deep now. I have nightmares about them. I have even heard about robots training robots to race. There are rumors that the last great jocky Schlomo Mints from Israel was murdered by a robot because he refused to give up his harness." Diner looks down at the dry infertile ground of his homeland in the UAE. "It's out of hand," he says almost weeping. "The sport is changing before my very eyes."
The ABM insider has suspicion that aliens are beginning to manipulate the sport for their own purpose. "They may be broadcasting the sport to their home galaxies. Fixing the races for wealth."
More later.......

Yesterday and today: ALIEN TRACTORS

ALIEN TRACTORS


I'm sure many people cheered when Al ore won an award a the Oscars last week. But perhaps you failed to notice that we might not be on the brink of disaster after all. New technologies with new solutions are being developed everyday. And if we can't depend on former VPs and the good folks at MIT to develop strategies, both economically and technologically driven then it is time we begin to search else where. Our good neighbors North are smart enough to suggest its about time we steal from our intergalactic observers. Don't you, too? I'm not afraid. Are you?

Perhaps you remember the story of William Huxesle. A rural farmer from Nebraska who, in the early 1960's, was able to harvest two billion pounds of corn. Never in the history of man kind had any such harvest occurred. When the man was questioned by the Feds about his god-given fields they discovered that he had what some historians call a Sirus XP 3000. An interplanetary tractor believed to have been purchased on the ABM (Alien Black Market). This crop collection device not only picked, shucked and stored the corn in its two ton storage tank but it was also capable of duplicating genetically everything it held 100 fold. Huxesle was a humble man who used G-D as an excuse for such a large crop. "I'm just trying to pay my bills," his wife Gertrude remembers him saying. "And the good lord has blessed me with the best field in the universe." It was this quote which led the feds to investigate his farm. Even today scholars wonder what the real meaning behind the statement the best field in the universe really meant.

Sady, in 1965 Mr. Huxesle vanished, as did his machine. Some believe he owed too much money to the ABM, unable to meet the high fees in Beatles memorabilia that the ABM hustlers demanded. "All we demanded were locks of hair from Ringo, a couple bobble head dolls and a lunch box depicting the Beatles appearance on the Ed Sullivan show." A former ABM dealer said.

The cult of the Sirus XP 3000 began shortly after that. Tales of the legendary tractor spread throughout middle America as Huxesly's corn created a minor crash in the stock market that year. Many people remember the taste of the corn being different than any other on the market. "It tasted like cotton candy mixed with peppermint spam," one nearby farmer, asking to remain nameless, remembers. "My child began speaking in tongues. His teeth turned green, he began to read Viking epics."

This technology was great. Limitless in its ability to end world hunger, with the possibility to engage children in historical myths,we can only wonder why was such a device taken from us? And who lead the investigation? We may never know...

And what else exists for us in our endeavours to save our own civilization? We have only the Canadian government to ask. Unless we can come up with that crazy Beatles album with the bloody babies on the cover, we may never know.

(The author's reconstruction of the Sirus XP 3000 Interplanetary Tractor based from witness testimony and blue prints purchased from the ABM for an autograph copy of Julian Lennon's debut album. )

photo of reconstructed engine (built into my Yugo) from blue prints.