Perfection: Joy Division

How I spend my days

People were asking about my life in Korea. This picture sums it up:

Congrats are in order

To my buddy Jason: he has won the Transcontinental Pavement Saw Press first book award. I didn't even know he wrote a book--well, he did. (Apparently, for poets, a book is just a bunch of poems.) Anyhow, despite the fact that he can't spell worth a damn he's a hell of poet and I'm really happy for him. Hence I have google-imaged a series of congratulatory pictures.

Klaus Socksi!

Pinochet A-Okay

Murderers is US!

Pamela versus Werner

Not sure who would win. I have yet to see the Borat movie, but I'm going to go look for it--word is it has made it to Korea. In the mean time we have Pamela:

You won't find my new release at your local cinema. My latest project is "Kentucky Fried Cruelty," an undercover exposé blowing the whistle on the cruel treatment of animals at KFC's factory farm and slaughterhouse suppliers. The video details just how horribly KFC treats chickens—birds are so crippled that theycan't even walk, live birds are forced into tanks of scalding-hot water while
completely conscious and able to feel pain, and Moorefield, West Virginia slaughterhouse
workers kill birds by slamming them against the wall and stomping on them!

and then we have Werner:

Norman Hill: Why this interest in chickens? They are in several of your films...
Werner Herzog: They are very frightening for me because their stupidity is so
flat. When you look into the eyes of a chicken you lose yourself in a completely
flat, frightening stupidity. They are a great metaphor...for me..for I don't
what it is. They reappear in several of my films. Even Dwarves Started Small.
Cannibalistic chicken. One-legged chicken. A rooster being hypnotized and on and
on and on. NH: (Laughs.) And the famous dancing chicken in Stroszek. WH:
(Laughs.) Right. That is some of the best I've ever filmed. So I don't know. I
kind of love chicken but they frighten me more than any other animal I know.

More Chick-N-Mation here. (Highly recommended.)

Explaining my last few posts

There is no explanation. I explain things all damn day long and I don't want to explain.

Play a ski game here.

Murderers are Us

Read away fellow murderers!

Closer to God: Just one more day part II

Lyrics:
Last night I had a crazy dream
A wish was granted just for me,
It could be for anything
I didn't ask for money
Or a mansion in malibu
I simply wished, for one more day with you

Chorus

One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again
I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you

First thing I'd do, is pray for time to crawl
Then I'd unplug the telephone
And keep the tv off
I'd hold you every second
Say a million I love you's
That's what I'd do. With one more day with you

Chorus

Leave me wishing still for one more day
Leave me wishing still for one more day

by diamond rio

Oh God! Just one more day!

Michael Moore: Hermaphrodite?

A simultaneous hermaphrodite (or synchronous hermaphrodite) is an organism that has both male and female organs at the same time as an adult. Usually, self-fertilization does not occur.

Hamlets, unlike other fish, seem quite at ease mating in front of divers, allowing observations in the wild to occur readily. They do not practice self-fertilization, but when they find a mate, the pair takes turns between which one acts as the male and which acts as the female through multiple matings, usually over the course of several nights.
Earthworms are another example of synchronous hermaphrodite. Although they possess ovaries and testes, they have a protective mechanism against self fertilization and can only function as a single sex at one time. reproduction occurs when two worms meet and exchange tes, copulating on damp, wet nights during warm seasons. Fertilized eggs are protected by a cocoon, which is buried on or near the surface of the ground.
Banana Slugs are one more synchornous hermaphrodite example. Mating with a partner is most desirable, as the genetic material of the offspring is varied, but if mating with a partner is not possible, self-fertilization is practiced. The male part of an adult banana slug is quite large in proportion to its size, as well as compared to the female part. It is possible that while mating, banana slugs can get stuck together. If a substantial amount of wiggling doesn't do the trick, the slug's male part will be bit off (slugs do not have mouths like humans, though - rather, they have a radula). If a banana slug has lost its male member, it can still self-fertilize, making its hermaphroditic quality an invaluable adaptation.

boogie-ing

Hey, I know these people.

Pensacola Christian College

Found this gem from Jesus' General.

There are many rules, many that make quite a bit of sense to me. But this one must really bite for the sterling Christianlings:

You may not wipe "boogers" on the wall. This is being cracked down on.

Jesus Christ--how the hell do they expect them to live? How many suicides do they have there? (Not too many from the belts, though, as you shall see....)

The best is the dress code, though:

You must wear socks. [Even when you where sandals???!!!]

Except for collegian sports, men must wear "dress sweats" for any athletic activity where women are present.

A swimming suit/shorts may not be worn while traveling to the beach, although there are no changing rooms at the men's required beach.

For White Glove weekend: "Men may wear jeans and collared shirts to breakfast this Saturday, [date of white glove], because of White Glove. Stone washed or acid washed denim should not be worn. Students must change immediately after breakfast."

Multi-colored polo shirts and khakis are acceptable "afternoon" dress (see the "Who's Who" section of the latest yearbook for examples); note, though, that this also applies to Saturday mornings, in which case the morning is converted to "afternoon" for clothing purposes. Sunday afternoon, though, is not "afternoon" for clothing purposes.

You may not allow the end of your belt to hang down from the belt-loops resembling a phallus.

Meltmasters

Banana style:

This one isn't so cool, but you can at least understand what the hell she's screaming:

My Seinfeld was evil for our country...more so than Beck???

Some strange TV!! Update: check out the unedited video for some of the strangest TV. Michael Richards seems to think that his anger is symptomatic of the racial situation in the US. Ah-hem.

Government Abuse Chicken; Chop the Strange Fish

Better than Ezra Pound. ㅠ-ㅠ

Do yourself a favor

And check out Mickey Z's site. He's an Astorian, for chrissake.

Deleted scene from Borat!

Angry and Sloppy exclusive!

Some shit is gonna go down...fer sure!

Awesome! Body parts and stuff gonna be invaded with revival supernatural rays.

Pus the accelator! Break the board or ride the wave!
I wanna ride the wave...
A lot of shaking and harvest goin on.
Egy or Israel was happy time for recompense! Whatever is comin to you is comin so that's gonna be good! So make sure! The glory-realm is increasing!

The Anger Dollar

Bill Hicks, the American Kinski


Here's his spiel on smoking:

He died of pancreatic cancer in 1994.

While I'm on the topic

Suicidal Munchkins!

If you are thinking of committing suicide...

...please read this first!

The media

Wants us all to die.

from cursor

Fear Factor Part 2

Bosingtang!

If I want to get a laugh in my classes I just say "bosintang!"



Tangy!

Scroll to the bottom and you'll find the address for a burger restaurant with a very special ingredient. When I start my Korea tour company I'll take folks there before we go to the Hitler bar.

Fear Factor

via Katman!

Strange TV, eh?

This isn't Rock N Roll

This is genocide...



Rock N Roll!!

Things you should know about

How they will steal the election.

Computers are poison. Hmph. Glad I don't own one!

By the way

Did I mention that I hate my job?

They gave me a total shit schedule this time. 4 preps and five straight hours in the morning.

I hate these assholes.

What is Repo Man about?

Quoted from Alex Cox's site:

Nuclear War. What else could it be about? And the demented
society that contemplated the possibility thereof. I'd written a script
for Adrian Lyne about the effects of nuclear war in an American city, Seattle.
It was called THE HAPPY HOUR, and was never made.
Repoing people's cars and
punk rock were just the tip of the iceberg. The real mad centre of the film is
J. Frank Parnell - the fictitious inventor of the Neutron Bomb. He sets the film
in motion, on the road from Los Alamos, and, as portrayed by the late great
actor, Fox Harris, is the centrepoint of the film.
Fourteen years
later, I had a call from one Sam Cohen, who announced himself the father of the
Neutron Bomb. I imagined a cross between Jack D. Ripper and Edward
Teller in a dark Brentwood apartment, raging because there hadn't been an
intercontinental thermonuclear war... But we had lunch, and he proved to be a
charming chap.
He told me that REPO MAN and DR STRANGELOVE were his
favourite films. He didn't view either of them as a comedy. From the nuclear
strategist's standpoint, he thought they were both very accurate."It was the
quintessential neutron bomb in the trunk... what we call a SADM - a Strategic
Area Denial Munition." He and the Russian politician General Lebed gave
press conferences a couple of years ago to draw attention to the number of
ex-Soviet SADMs which had gone missing -- hundreds of them, Sam said, sold on
the black market to whoever was buying. He thought a SADM may have
destroyed the Federal Building in Oklahoma.
"The Neutron Bomb
was the most moral weapon ever devised... " Sam would insist. It turned out the
Pope agreed with Sam, and sent him a Peace Medal, for the invention of the
Neutron Bomb, in 1979.

A collection of manifestos

The Surrealist Manifesto

The Futurist Manifesto

Zizek on Lenin

A feminist-cyborg manifesto

That silly Dogme 95 thing

Pere Ubu

The Unabomber's

Herzog's Minnesota Declaration

Kim Jong Il's Blog

Back when TV was cool

The Holy Greil

Does early Sleater-Kinney, Pere Ubu, Philip Roth, David Lynch. Can't go wrong with that.

The New Torture

Is minus the snark.

via cursor.

Japan on the brain

Next stop on the Dan tour of the world will undoubtably be Japan. Here are some cursory findings of my investigation of its artifacts:

I'll have to teach English to earn my keep, so this'll how I'll do it (but I won't be so sexy):

This one is a show where they punish you for laughing; a common theme, it seems. This one has a twist of surreal added to a homey Ozu vibe.

This one really messes with mind; especially the haunting final shot.

The prank shows can be a bit on the elaborate side:


And it gets worse:

But sometimes it's best to keep it simple:

Here's some sexy:


Lastly, Shatner:

They Found The Scream!

For these scary-fuck times.

Okey dokey arti-smokey

I'm officially scared.

Youtube killed the blogio-star

Captain Kurk.

Werner Herzog eats his Shoe

Dinosaurs!!!

The Christians have a much better explanation now than "God put [the dinosaur bones] in the ground so that we'd find them."

Lots to love here. Let's start with this:

As you add up all of the dates, and accepting that Jesus Christ, the Son of God, came to Earth almost 2000 years ago, we come to the conclusion that the creation of the Earth and animals (including the dinosaurs) occurred only thousands of years ago (perhaps only 6000!), not millions of years. Thus, if the Bible is right (and it is!), dinosaurs must have lived within the past thousands of years.

If the Bible is right (and it is) then it's right--which it is, but only if it's right (and it is.)

Flies